Monday, January 31, 2011
Why i am never going to try to make friends.
Remember back in elementary school, when your parents would drop you off at the playground and say: play nice with the other kids? I guess i never really understood the concept, i guess its obvious i never knew because while the other kids were playing nice i would be off in an imaginary world of my own. Sometimes the other kids on the playground wanted to be a part of it we would play lava monster or house while other times i would be left to myself. but the point was i never had to compromise my beliefs, now i am in a situation i donòt want to be in and i would rather be friendless living in my own imagination then become a spoiled entitled brat!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Why i hate getting my feet wet!
This Blank Canvas serves the purpose of none other then a Blank Canvas. So how come whenever i get off that airplane to my beloved Florence i am always weighted down by unneeded baggage? i suppose its because i am afraid. I want to be brave but how can i when i am so terrified. My dear friend says to risk is to show courage, Yet, i am so afraid of risks, I can make a list of everyone who loves me on both my fingers and toes and then some, I just cannot help but be afraid.
As a child i seemed slower then the other children in my elementary school classes ,while other children were inquisitive and curious i was far more gullible. My classmates would bully me saying that our teacher died or my hair was turning orange and of course i would believe them. It was no surprise that my teachers assumed i had Aspergers disorder surprisingly they were not far off. I suffer from NVLD: Non-verbal Learning Disorder which is a strain of Aspergers, It makes it very difficult to interact with others without appearing socially awkward or clingy. I am so thankful to my wonderful college who embraces the socially awkward. Through Wells College i have made friendships that I feel will last a lifetime, I am loved which is a feeling I rarely felt in Highschool let alone middle school.
I am also a very fragile person which is a gift and a curse. A gift because i empathize with others and serve to many a friend as a great confidante and listener. A curse because i easily break and let others take advantage of me, I am also non-confrontational and would rather isolate myself then confront issues head on
Today I mentioned about why i changed my major from fashion design to Art History and the truth is because i was afraid of criticism. Criticism comes in the fear of not gaining acceptance from my peers so I suppose it is no surprise why i really hate getting my feet wet.
As a child i seemed slower then the other children in my elementary school classes ,while other children were inquisitive and curious i was far more gullible. My classmates would bully me saying that our teacher died or my hair was turning orange and of course i would believe them. It was no surprise that my teachers assumed i had Aspergers disorder surprisingly they were not far off. I suffer from NVLD: Non-verbal Learning Disorder which is a strain of Aspergers, It makes it very difficult to interact with others without appearing socially awkward or clingy. I am so thankful to my wonderful college who embraces the socially awkward. Through Wells College i have made friendships that I feel will last a lifetime, I am loved which is a feeling I rarely felt in Highschool let alone middle school.
I am also a very fragile person which is a gift and a curse. A gift because i empathize with others and serve to many a friend as a great confidante and listener. A curse because i easily break and let others take advantage of me, I am also non-confrontational and would rather isolate myself then confront issues head on
Today I mentioned about why i changed my major from fashion design to Art History and the truth is because i was afraid of criticism. Criticism comes in the fear of not gaining acceptance from my peers so I suppose it is no surprise why i really hate getting my feet wet.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Waste of Space? Ok by me
An internet joke on www.cracked.com presented a blog acceptance which read" "Are you ok with this blog becoming a waste of space on the internet which will most likely only be read by your parents and self"? To this question i answer, Please just let this be a waste of space!
I feel like i stopped blogging because i became so intertwined with a reality that was not mine. I went from just a shy girl who wanted to write about art to having art bloggers all across the web reading my reviews of various museums. I was even fortunate enough to have my writing featured on blogs of such an esteemed caliber. I am honored for the recognition but i feel like i really lost a part of myself with each entry. I want to be true to myself and admit that i got caught up in a game of numbers, I forgot about the true reason i was writing and began to write to gain a broader following . Although i was one of the youngest writers within my category, i felt like a mere child in comparison to the esteemed bloggers of the Art History Blogosphere.
I feel like i stopped blogging because i became so intertwined with a reality that was not mine. I went from just a shy girl who wanted to write about art to having art bloggers all across the web reading my reviews of various museums. I was even fortunate enough to have my writing featured on blogs of such an esteemed caliber. I am honored for the recognition but i feel like i really lost a part of myself with each entry. I want to be true to myself and admit that i got caught up in a game of numbers, I forgot about the true reason i was writing and began to write to gain a broader following . Although i was one of the youngest writers within my category, i felt like a mere child in comparison to the esteemed bloggers of the Art History Blogosphere.
I am afraid of criticism which is one of the most dangerous fears of all. with criticism comes rejection by far my greatest fear. In no way do i plan to have a broad following this time. I just want to do something for me. Who knows what this semester will bring? perhaps this blog will be about art and travel or maybe as stated by cracked.com it will be a waste of space.
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