This Blank Canvas serves the purpose of none other then a Blank Canvas. So how come whenever i get off that airplane to my beloved Florence i am always weighted down by unneeded baggage? i suppose its because i am afraid. I want to be brave but how can i when i am so terrified. My dear friend says to risk is to show courage, Yet, i am so afraid of risks, I can make a list of everyone who loves me on both my fingers and toes and then some, I just cannot help but be afraid.
As a child i seemed slower then the other children in my elementary school classes ,while other children were inquisitive and curious i was far more gullible. My classmates would bully me saying that our teacher died or my hair was turning orange and of course i would believe them. It was no surprise that my teachers assumed i had Aspergers disorder surprisingly they were not far off. I suffer from NVLD: Non-verbal Learning Disorder which is a strain of Aspergers, It makes it very difficult to interact with others without appearing socially awkward or clingy. I am so thankful to my wonderful college who embraces the socially awkward. Through Wells College i have made friendships that I feel will last a lifetime, I am loved which is a feeling I rarely felt in Highschool let alone middle school.
I am also a very fragile person which is a gift and a curse. A gift because i empathize with others and serve to many a friend as a great confidante and listener. A curse because i easily break and let others take advantage of me, I am also non-confrontational and would rather isolate myself then confront issues head on
Today I mentioned about why i changed my major from fashion design to Art History and the truth is because i was afraid of criticism. Criticism comes in the fear of not gaining acceptance from my peers so I suppose it is no surprise why i really hate getting my feet wet.
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